The Musician's Discount or How I Found an Apartment in NYC in 2 Days
My husband and I did what many people attempt and seldom succeed at doing. We found an apartment in NYC (albeit Brooklyn) in 2 days. I refuse to be modest about this. If you have similar aspirations, here are some easy steps to follow:
1. Spend at least 20 hours per week on the phone with Manhattan brokers for two weeks. Give them conflicting information, as your perceptions and information levels change about various neighborhoods. Tell them you'd LOVE to live in Chelsea even if you're straight. If you're gay, tell them you've always dreamed of living in Crown Heights. This will confuse the brokers to the point where they will only have one property to show you. Don't worry about this-- you won't like it.
2. Become familiar with different artistic occupations. Read up on what it's like to be an aspiring dancer, guitarist, recording artist, actor, or performance artist and learn to dress the part. If you sense that you're out of your depth, simply go to the nearest thrift store and buy at least one piece to go with your J. Crew ensemble. They WILL notice (by "they", I mean the brokers who are usually aspiring dancers, guitarists, actors). If this seems a bit much, then you've never heard the biggest secret of ny real estate.
3. Ask an endearingly naive question about the area. Here are some helpful examples: "Are there any bagel places in NY?", "Where can I keep my livestock?", or frame your cluelessness in the declarative: "I can't believe how many PEOPLE there are here!". This will ensure that your future landlord will assume a protective attitude toward you, as though he's found a kitten in a tire.